Saturday, 30 November 2013

Welcome to Olokunbola's Blog

Welcome to Olokunbola's Blog

Cute Couple!!! Newly Wed Mr & Mrs Okoye Graces The Christmas Issue Of Genevieve Magazine

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 09:04 AM PST

loaadn

Mrs and Mrs Okoye coupled up on the Christmas issue of Genevieve magazine. Despite all the rumours about their relationship the couple have stood firm in their love and didn't fail to reveal it as they got married earlier this month.

Peter Okoye Fires Back At Emmy Collins For Dissing His Wedding Outfit. {Photos}

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 08:57 AM PST

People who know Emmy Collins, know how good he is at dissing celebrities on his blog. Three days ago Emmy went on his blog to diss Peter okoye's wedding outfit. 
Here's what Emmy wrote on his blog:


If you guys don't offer accolades to me for restraining myself from critiquing Lola and Peter Okoye during their wedding, I will claim it in Jesus name, Amen. Yes, there were enough talking points from that wedding yet I refused to touch them even to the extent that a few comments insinuated that I was playing what someone described as "Pasha".
Well, I must say that Peter and the dudes on this image were totally off the mark when they decided to deck themselves in this hideous polyester kaftans. As if the fabrics weren't disastrous enough, the quality of stitching employed in putting it together compares with the worst I have witnessed so far considering the fact that it is Peter`s wedding for crying out loud and of course he is not short of a bob or two. Before you move on to the next image, please work your eyes to the hemming of the kaftans especially that of the guys that are flanking Peter on the left and right.



Peter who didn't find the post funny, took to twitter to ask his fans who Emmy Collins was and a badass fan told him Emmy is 'a failed blogger and a fashion designer' and Peter replied by saying Emmy must be frustrated.
This is so Cool..I really think Emmy should go take a seat. lol

''When Presidents visit me, I get queried by God'' -Prophet TB Joshua..

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 08:37 AM PST


Prophet Temitope Balogun Joshua of the Synagogue Church of all Nations spoke with Punch on myriads of controversies surrounding his person and ministry

People say that you are very humble despite your popularity, how do you achieve this?

If you have passed through what I have passed through, you will even be more humble than I am.

Like what?

Things that can make people to be humble. You just think of it. I have good health and God shows me what I would have been in terms of sickness and death; it humbles me and I want to use my good health for him. At times, God shows me how people are suffering and the thought that it could have been me keeps me humble. For instance, if I did anything wrong during this interview, when you may have left, God will caution me. If I am not humble, I will be out of track. If I was not in the house of God, I would be one of the touts in the motor parks (the Agberos)

Why is it that your ministry seems to be more popular outside Nigeria than in Nigeria?

I want to offer the same prayer for you: that God should make you more popular outside your country than in your country. Let other countries introduce you to your country. I think that is better. As it is written in the Bible, a prophet has no honour in his country. I am not an evangelist or a pastor, I am a prophet. It is the word prophet that was used in that scriptural passage, not evangelist or so. If my people had understood the work from the beginning, it could have affected the glory of God in my life today. If people understand your vision from the beginning, you may not go far. It is better they don't, they will understand later and by then, you would have been very strong and God would have strengthened your desire. Praises and adoration can make you a local champion. Where are the people that Nigerians praised from the beginning? I can mention some – even men of God, who are no longer living today, so many founders – CAC, Cherubim and Seraphim, Church of the Lord and so on. We should get this understanding that those who were local champions in the past did not reach international recognition. Look beyond the ministry job to the secular world, was it Nigeria that introduced Prof. Wole Soyinka to the world? But when he became a Nobel Laureate, he became more powerful; when he talks, everyone wants to listen. Whereas there were some other local champions that even when they were dying, nobody took their news to CNN. They don't know them. God has a way of raising people by throwing the image to the international community. Even the footballers that are notable became acceptable to Nigerians when they belong to international clubs. I may not be accepted by some people in Nigeria but my acceptance in the world has been announcing me to my world. When you look at the people working with me, you see that the ratio of Nigerians working with me are not more than 10 per cent.

What is the special attraction that brings heads of government to synagogue?

You have said it all, where there is demand, there is supply and in that place, there would be enough anointing to do the work. God will not allow people to go to a place where there is no supply. It is not possible. I observe that if three chairs are added to this church today, you suddenly find people filling it and if four are removed, it is just the number of people that will fill the chairs that will come. I have studied that from the beginning. Sometimes when I see some ministries printing handbills, using signboards to advertise the church, I say those things are not necessary. God is the one inviting people, if you allow him to do it, the solution to their problems will be waiting for them. But if you take it upon yourself to do the advertisement, people that God is not expecting will come along with them and there will be crisis and trouble. You just continue doing your work and leave the advert for God, then those that God didn't invite will not come and there will be peace and tranquillity. You should not go out to start saying 'I can heal, I can deliver.' At synagogue, our critics are our advertisement. They are people that don't want to hear about us. They tell other people that 'that church is devilish;' unknowingly, some of the people they tell get inquisitive and they will want to come here and see what a devil looks like since they haven't seen one before. God has been using this as advertisement for us. Ninety per cent of people who come here do so in the bid to come and verify what they had heard about this church. When some of them get here, they will sit at the back, fearing that they could be hurt. Some put on dark glasses or disguise in a way that will not allow people that know them to recognise them. But before the service is over, some of them will pick up their bags and move to the front seats. They eventually become my prayer warriors. Let me tell you something that amazes me and that I always thank God for – those who are with me are more than those that are against me. They keep supporting me all over the world. I have more, more, more people around the world. Whenever I say this, tears flow from my eyes (sobs for a while). These are tears of joy. I get so sad when I hear people's confession when their eyes become open to what God is doing here. Some say, 'I wish I had known this, my mum would not have died. She asked me to bring her here but because of what I was hearing about this place, I refused until she died. I hope that she will forgive me."'

Is President Goodluck Jonathan on the list of heads of government that patronise your services?

When it comes to relationship, I think he would be in the best position to answer that question. Since what we are doing is creating impact around the world, you should expect Nigeria's president to also be part of it. We are praying for the nation and being a Christian acknowledges it. If Jonathan had been here, it would have been shown on our Emmanuel Television network. No president has ever visited this place in secret. The Bible says that if you confess me before men, I will confess you before my father in heaven. I am not a witch doctor; we have nothing to hide. If you have not read in the newspapers that your president came here, then that is that. Anytime presidents of other countries come here, Jonathan is usually aware. If he doesn't believe in what we are doing, he would have told them that we constitute security risks.

What is your relationship with President Jonathan, Does he speak with you on phone?

Don't rush me. Let me finish answering the last question. Now, you would answer the question yourself; have you read that he came here, have you? My sister, you have said it all. What phone call are we talking about?

How do you tell the president when you have an instruction for the nation?

I say it on the television and all over the world. I accept that is not enough; it is better to see him one on one.
But what is the essence of a president's visit if he won't follow what I will tell him? This kind of trend keeps staining my name. I will not mention anybody, when they leave here; they do not obey the instructions.

But what are these presidents looking for in your church?

The reason why people visit a man of God is to receive instructions, his opinion about them or their country. But if they don't follow it, yet the whole world knows that they are close to TB Joshua, it has no benefit.

Are you saying it's no big deal that presidents visit you?

It is no big deal. Except they obey the counsel given to them, it has no benefit. It is not something to be proud of. At least, seven presidents have visited this place since inception. But each time presidents come to this place, I get query from God. When they come around, you won't have time to attend to other people. They will block the road with their security and at the end of the day, they won't do what you advise them to do.

People say that your generosity is used to woo people to your church. How do you react to this?

How much will I give to the president of a nation to come here? Even when they come, I don't get any financial gain but I incur cost because I want to ensure that they are well cared for. That is all; I even prefer to spend my time with the poor than to be with the presidents. If a president visits this place today, the whole of the day will be devoted to that visit, I would have lesser time for the poor people, who need my attention. God has been warning me over this trend so much that when some presidents said that they wanted to visit me, I said no. I said it would be better for me to visit them in their countries. Each time they visit this place, I receive query from God because of my time that should have been used to attend to the poor and the needy that are waiting for me. One soul is not superior to the other, why should I continue to receive query? Really out of three presidents that may visit, there will hardly be one that will show good example of the counsel that they received from me. If the needy are more receptive to God, it is better to give them more of my time.

Still on generosity, why do you ask people to display the items given to them live on camera, is it proper?

We do so to encourage other people to do likewise. Some of them are physically-challenged or indigent people who do not even have bank accounts, so we have to give them cash. We don't want them to be duped, but we don't do that often anymore.

Isn't it a deliberate way of advertising what you are doing?

It is not so.

But we don't see such things in other churches?

Every man of God has his own habit. Habit is a gift from God. Like Daniel, whenever he wants to pray, he will open his window, that is his habit. The disciples of Jesus prayed six times a day; that is their habit. It is not that we are showing off. When people see what we are doing, they learn how to be good givers. If you do everything privately, what will people write about? Jesus fed the 5,000 people in the open, not in secret. That is why it could be written. When the tax collectors came to him, he did not hide to say, 'I don't want them to see that they want to collect money from me.' Even when he healed a man and they asked him how he did it, he asked them to go and ask the healed man.

You said God speaks to you, how does he speak to you?

Faith must first be in the heart before there could be an accepted confession. That means faith must first be in the heart before there could be an acceptance of prayer, request, talk from God. Faith is of man's heart, which is spirit. Heart literarily means a different thing from the spirit. You use your faith to put a demand.

So, how do you get those prophecies – picture or voice?

I use my faith to place a demand. You don't understand what I am saying. Let me put it this way, faith is a channel through which the anointing flows. That means you use your faith to put a demand and ask for whatever you want. If there is faith in your heart, you can close your eyes and make a demand that you want to know what is happening around the world and before you know it, you will see the vision. There is what you call a measure of faith – deep, deeper, deepest faith. I don't know which level you belong. Faith grows as we hear the word and obey it. We are not all at the same level, but all things are possible to him that believes. What is possible for you may not be possible for me.

But many people see you as mystical, they think you are not a believer in Jesus Christ; that you belong to some other sect. What is the source of your power?

Your question is funny. We don't get power, it is faith we have. The power in our life is released by faith through our mouth. The issue of getting power is wrong. We don't talk about getting power here. If you don't have faith, power will remain dormant. In Mark, Jesus said this kind won't be possible but by prayer and fasting. The disciples had power but lacked faith to release it.
Coming from you directly, who are you?
Nigerians cannot tell me who I am. The percentage of my people around the world is more than those in Nigeria. I am celebrated around the world. Go on the internet, Emmanuel TV is the most watched. Forget about anybody, I don't need to promote myself. Even Jesus could not win everybody's soul.

Are you a Christian, do you believe in Jesus Christ?

The word Christian is a title. How do you know that those people talking believe in Jesus Christ when Christianity is a matter of the heart?

But are you a child of God…

That is what I am correcting you about; that someone said he is a Christian doesn't mean he is. If somebody says he belongs to this or that fellowship, only God knows. It is not about confessing that I am a prophet, a pastor, only God knows who is serving him. A mango tree cannot bear coconut. What you believe radiates around you. I'm more than that kind of confession. If anyone doesn't believe me, they would when the time comes.

But why don't you belong to a Christian body?

Christianity is not an association. Let us talk about Christianity. I don't celebrate religion. I am a follower of Jesus; I am a Christian, that is all I know. I will invite you to come and worship here this Sunday. I am known by my love, not by my association, so whether Pentecostal, Catholic, Charismatic, Methodist, who is serving God? I don't judge people but people can judge me. All I know is that my persecution has been a blessing; I have been tamed by it. It has strengthened me. I am a Charismatic.

So, who anointed you into the ministry?

I have told you about faith. You know that Elijah anointed Elisha, but can you tell me who anointed Elijah? So you see God can choose to do it the way He wants. Because I don't want to hurt you, I don't know which circle you belong to, maybe your own pastor was anointed by a man.

Are you still very close to Pastor Chris Oyakhilome?

Please, don't drag me into all that. I beg you.

What about the issue of Jim Iyke?

Oh please, don't drag me into that. All I can say is that if a person needs to see a doctor, he should be free to do so. I like the young man. He has been defending himself on the internet. Is he not enjoying a better life now? Are things not working for him?

Why are all these stars always coming to your church?

Please I don't want to talk about that.

What about your alleged link with the release of Major Al-Mustapha?

Which one are you saying again? Please spare me that. I will give you time to come back and talk on that.

You are reputed for predicting football matches correctly, how far will Nigeria go in the World Cup?

I can't say that now. I will give PUNCH the privilege of getting my prophetic messages once they come out.

Why is it that people don't know your family members?

I don't expose my family. I hear people saying that I don't have a wife and that I have no child. That is the news everywhere. You have seen my wife and this is a photograph of my daughter.

Why is it that your wife does not preach like other pastors' wives?

My wife is a very wonderful woman. She believes in receiving her own call. She does not just want to hold microphone because her husband is a pastor.
Men of God need to take care of their children. My daughter studied Law she is doing her PhD in Harvard and she is coming back home to preach the gospel. She loves to preach.

Is your wife the one responsible for your looks?

I love to look good too; it is 50-50 anyway. She has been a great woman to me. She has been a great source of encouragement in the midst of my challenges. She is different in the sense that she said I was the one God called, so she is waiting until she is called by God to be a pastor. That is unlike what most men of God do, they believe that once they are called, their wives must be pastors too.

When are you buying your own private jet?

When one is at the airport to catch a flight, you see that many have become like Molue. They could disappoint you by saying the flight has been cancelled. Even when you eventually get on board, people keep thronging you for one reason or the other. The person serving you the meal may be someone that needs deliverance, by giving you food, she will deliver you. There was an experience I had when travelling by air for a trip of about nine hours. I was pressed but couldn't go and ease myself because I had to queue like other people before I could use the restroom. Besides, I thought that some of those people could go to the toilet immediately after I had used it in expression of faith, so I remained glued to my seat all through the journey. That would not have been if I was flying a private jet. Or if you are a man of God that snores and they see the pastor sleeping and snoring, they will think he shouldn't snore. Meanwhile, he is human. So a man of God should have a private jet if the situation demands it.

Who should pay for it?

If the use is for the church, the church should buy it, own it and manage it. It should not be bought in the pastor's name. When he is no longer there, the jet remains the church's.

Big organisations have a need for crowd management, how did you handle the stampede case in Ghana over holy water?

I know where you are going, don't go there. Why don't you let's leave that please.
What inspired you to owning a football club?
It is the desire to help people realise their dreams. There are other social platforms that we use to help people.

Still on prediction of football matches, is God not too busy to talk to you about that?

The same God speaks about everything. God is aware of everything. It is all about the faith that you have; it manifests even in small things. We need to know how much we need God.
But people said you see a crystal ball that aids your predictions?
Don't you wonder why I am the only one saying it and it is coming to pass?

What about your influence on the stool in your village in Ondo State?

Don't drag me into that, I will not go there, maybe next time.

'PDP will not let any Edo person ‘to go and die’ - PDP takes A swipe At Gov. Oshiomhole..Gives Widow 250,000!

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 08:35 AM PST


The Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) Edo State, has condemned the inhuman treatment meted out on a widow by the State Governor, Comrade Adams Oshiomhole. The video which has gone viral captured the erstwhile
comrade turned emperor, siezing the poor widows good for selling by the roadside. Despite pleas from the woman that she be pardoned, the governor kicked her goods and scornfully told her, "you are a widow, go and die"
The PDP in rescue of the widow has asked the widow to come to their office and get the sum of N250,000 to help cushion the effects her siezed goods will have on her. This was contained in a press release obtained by Elombah.com and signed by the state chairman, Dan Orbih.
"Edo PDP watched with consternation Governor Adams Oshiomhole's brutal, inhuman and merciless treatment of a widow street-trader whose wares he ordered seized and who he unfeelingly told to '…go and die' even as she knelt down in fervent protestations and appeals to his pity on a helpless widow.
The governor's actions are appalling, insensate, disgraceful, indecent, cruel and below board. It is clear that he does not care much about the well being of the people as he pretentiously avowed. Our hearts go to that hapless widow in this her time of travails and through her, to other widows who have been oppressed by the unfriendly policies of the administration in Edo State.
The PDP, Edo State will not let any Edo person 'to go and die' if it can help it, especially not hardworking people like that widow who are engaged in lawful enterprises that are, in themselves, not easy to carry on.
To this end, our party has instituted an endowment fund for all widows and oppressed people in the state and by this release, we invite the widow captured in the video of the encounter with Governor Oshiomhole to come to the PDP Secretariat on No. 70, Sapele Road, at 11am on Tuesday December 3, 2013 to receive a first-installment sum of N250,000.00 to cushion the pain, trauma and loss occasioned by her mistreatment and the seizure of the items she sells. Governance is about the people and as a responsible National Institution, Edo PDP cannot be unconcerned about the wrong treatment of indigenes of the state to whom the present administration promised heaven just to win their votes.
We will continue to stand in the gap to ensure that Edo people are deservedly fairly treatment If Governor Oshiomhole believes that Edo People sinned by voting him into office, let him remember that he will account for his actions, if not to the people because he apparently does not think much of them, but to God Almighty in the short or long run.
We thank all those who have been humanely concerned about the plight of the widow and have stood out vehemently against the crying shame that was the insensitive action of a governor who seems bent on repaying electoral favor with ingratitude."

I’m Sure You Wank So Hard At Chidinma’s Pics! Fans Tell SkukiPeeshaun On Twitter! Wow!!

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 08:24 AM PST

Lol, these boys are not even smiling. I think fans who plan to go hard on celebrities these days need to think twice. The last time it was Iyanya who insulted a fan's father for calling him gay. Few minutes ago a fan went hard on Skukipeeshaun who once said, he wished he could date Chidinma. The fan tweeted at him, and his other brother (@Skukivavavoom) and said 'I am sure @skukipeeshaun wanks so hard at Chidinma's pics. Lol. See how Peeshaun replied him, and what is brother Vavavoom also said below.
Then his brother came in too...

DON'T LAUGH: Nigeria's Got Talent Judge Falls Off Chair During Auditions | See Photos -

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 08:04 AM PST

 

Nigeria's Got Talent season 2 premiered last weekend and people have been flooding the audition centres to display their talent.

During the audition in Calabar, Cross Rivers state, one of the judges, Dan Foster, Inspiration FM On Air personality fell on the fall laughing at one of the contestant's comedy presentation.
According to Dan Foster:

"I haven't laughed this hard in quite a long time. Your jokes are almost as good as the ones that the professional comedians we have in the industry tell."


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OUT AND ABOUT AT THE SHUGA PREMIERE IN LAGOS

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 07:20 AM PST

TJ & TIWA

The premiere of the 3rd series of SHUGA the award winning series held in Lagos last week at the Silverbird Galleria on Ahmadu Bello Way, Victoria Island, Lagos. This 3rd series is directed by the very gifted Biyi Bandele and has a largely Nigerian cast, many of  who prior to this experience, had never acted before. 


This 3rd series of #Shuga is a Nigerian-based sex and relationship drama that is planned to reach the largest audience ever yet in the history of the drama series. The drama was first aired in 2009 on MTV Base as part of the initiative of MTV Staying Alive Ignite. The main aim of this initiative is to have a multimedia campaign that would help spread the message about responsible sexual behavior and tolerance, especially now in the days of the spread of HIV/AIDS.

Series 1 and 2 were filmed in Kenya and used to air weekly on MTV Base and one of the now more famous cast that featured in the past season is the incredibly talented Lupita Nyong'O.

The invite only event was attended by the cast Tiwa Savage who came to the event with her fiance TJ Billz, other cast members at the event were Maria Okanrende, Okezie Morro, Chris Attoh, Dorcas Shola Fapson, Timini Egbuson, Leonora Okine, Ikubese Emmanuel Ifeanyichukwu, Nick Mutuma, Sharon Ezaamaka, Kachi Nnochiri, Olumide Oworu, Owumi Ugbeye and very many others.

We also saw the likes of Encomium's publisher Mr Kunle Bakare, Iyanya, Sound Sultan, Tee A, Lolo,  iLLbliss, Lola Okojevoh and others.

The event's MC was none other than MTV vj Ehis Okoeguale.

We were shown about 4 of the episodes of the series. And truth be told it is one of the best productions we have ever come across coming out of Nigeria. The cast and production crew headed by Biyi Bandele must be commended for a very good job well done. The production fused sexual health messaging with gripping storylines. The idea to raise awareness among young people about HIV prevention  and reproductive health in Nigeria was very obvious and the message was loud. 

We are too sure that this series would be a winner by many miles. The producers are estimating a viewing audience of about 550 million around the world. 

For more info on #Shuga, please go to www.Shuga.TV, you can follow Shuga on Twitter @MTVShuga using the hashtag #ShugaNaija. 

To view episode 1 of Shuga series 3 & promos for episodes 1 and 2 please go to http://vimeo.com/album/2620058, using the password Shuga3!


MORE PICTURES OF THE EVENT AFTER THE BREAK. PLS CLICK ON READ MORE BELOW



ALEX OKOSI


BIYI BANDELE

TIWA SAVAGE

MR & MRS BRIGHT OKPOCHA & FRIEND



TJ, TIWA & MR KB

TIWA SAVAGE & DORCAS SHOLA-FAPSON

SANI MU'AZU, SHARON EZEAMAKA & BIYI BANDELE
TJ, TIWA & OLUMIDE OWORU


BAYRAY MCNWIZU

TY MIX

IYANYA

EMMANUEL IKUBESE IFEANYICHUKWU

TJ BILLZ

ALEX OKOSI  DORCAS SHOLA FAPSON & OKEZIE MORRO

BIYI BANDELE & LEONORA OKINE


PRAIZ

EHIZ


TININI EGBUSON

SHARON CHISOM EZEAMAKA




LOLA OKOJEVOH

MARIA OKANRENDE


JENNIFER TAN

LEONORA OKINE

LOLO 1


ILLBLISS

How does it feel to be a Problem?(A poetry)

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 06:59 AM PST


Do we trod the famished road with the single hope of an oasis at the end? 

The desert sands shall give no mercy to a man of faith
Let us go then from the lands we baptised with pain
Let us, like Ulysses, set sail like the Vikings To mete and dole unequal laws upon a savage race.
Do we weep for the things unseen?
Tell me, my kinsman, how it feels to bring goodluck?
Even when ants have ecstatically ravaged your iron fence.
Tell me how it feels to drink from an oasis
In the patched mind of a thirsty traveller.
Do we weep for the roads not taken?
We saw the Kiama bridge and that which goes to Yenogoa
Do we require the gods to tell us where to go?
The soothsayers are out of business now

We have all turned prophets like the people of Eleusis.
The desert sands does not forgive a penitent feet
Neither does the hungry pather puts faith in the gods for a meal
So tell me! Tell me oh kinsman, how does it feel to be a problem?
What does it require of a genius to be a fool?
Does it require being pious?
Does it require taking existence serious?
We were sent here to build a hole
A hole which we have built so deep that we no longer see the light
I gave a penny to a beggar and he gave it to his brother in penury
I clean the guillotine daily, only to be stained with the blood of feeble minds.
Finding myself alone
Only for my solitude to be arrested by thoughts of things I had lost.
When I walked from Carthage to Karnem-Borno, there were no tears of burnt and scratched metals
When I listened to Homer, there were no use of afflicting words
When I slept in homes carved out from the intelligence of Masons, there were no natural disasters.
The Aare-Ona-Kakanfo has refused to return
Maybe the age grades should hunt for him
Just make sure the Sultan is still on seat when I return
If I do not return then I am your problem.

Madness( A poetry)

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 06:46 AM PST


Madness

Love is soft
Like a butterfly
That flutters by.
Delicate and
Vulnerable
Like the heart
Of a child.
Innocent… very innocent.
Yes like
A silly artist
It colours

The world anyhow
Just anyhow
Like a blind painter.
And it flutters by
Like a butterfly.
Yet mountains
Have been moved.
They have danced.
And the fiercest
Of rainstorms
And floods
Cannot drown it.
But wait
Have you ever
Loved?
Then you must
Have danced
With mountains
On your head.
You know
Of storms… tempests
And fire… colours.
You must know
Of fluttering butterflies
In the stomach
And madness.
Or can you stop it?
Madness.
Arrant madness.

A Country of Three

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 06:39 AM PST


It was the first week in December, and primary schools were on Christmas break.
Children from the homes in the neighbourhood gathered in the playground. They divided themselves, unintentionally, into groups, based mainly on their age brackets.
"Let's have a drama," said a bespectacled boy about ten years of age.
"Okay. I want to be a soldier," said another boy whose name was Yaro.
"I am the president's wife," said Maria, a pretty girl whom Yaro liked.
"Okay, Maria, then, I'll be the president," Yaro said.
"But you're a soldier already," Dele said, squinting through the thickness of his glasses. He continued,
"Remember, Mrs. Mafimisebi said that a soldier's duty is to protect his country, not to rule it."
Yaro's young rage registered on his knitted brows. He feared that Dele would make Maria not want him to be the president anymore; he feared he couldn't impress her with just a soldier's camouflage. Yet she smiled when he looked at her, his heart started thumping in his chest, obstructing his airways. He had always wanted to be a soldier, like his father was, and wouldn't give that up without a fight. He turned to Dele and asked,
"What do I have to do to be president?"
"You have to be voted in, I guess," Dele replied, blinking repeatedly.
"Election processes are too long; we don't have all day." Maria said, becoming restless.
"Typically feminine," Yaro said, and he and Dele giggled.
"Dele, what will you be in the drama?" Yaro asked.
"A journalist."
"Why?" Maria asked, surprise filling her hazel eyes.
"To write in the newspapers and report what's happening in the country."
"Well, said Yaro, "in this country, there are just three of us now."
"We could make a baby," Maria chipped in excitedly.
Yaro ignored her and continued,
"You mean, anything the president and his wife do, you'll write it in the papers?"
"Yes, everything."
"Even when the president wets his bed?"
"Yes – "
"If you write that about me, I'll shoot you with my gun."
And to Maria, Yaro said,
"I don't wet my bed."
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you -"
"Okay! Okay!" Dele stepped in between the military president and his first lady, who kept glaring fire and brimstone into each other's eyes; Maria had her hands on her hips, flapping her nonchalant lids in defiance. Dele spoke,
"Maybe you don't pee in your bed, but a journalist has to be allowed to exercise his press freedom."
Yaro moved so close that Dele could smell his digested breakfast as he spoke,
"If you write anything to disgrace the office of the president, the only freedom you'll be allowed is the length and breadth of a knee-high prison cell in my backyard."
"And a cup of tea," Maria added, her hands rocking her hips.
"Then, I guess I'll seek political asylum abroad, maybe in America or England." Dele said, as he stepped back, not being one given to physical violence.
After a few moments of silence, which was no silence at all since the playground was teeming with children running around and shouting, Yaro said,
"We've been friends since kindergarten. Why can't we all just enjoy my ruling this country? There could be contracts coming your way, you know."
Maria waved at another girl walking a few feet away. Dele put his hand in his pockets and said,
"If you're thinking of buying my conscience, perish the thought; a good name is better than -"
"Shut up with the preaching! If I'm ever in need of any sermon, I'll come to your church, buy your pastor's conscience, and get him to say what I want him to say. And you will write what I want you to write."
Yaro was wagging his fist in front of Dele who, squinting, as if to see the fist clearly before he brushed it aside, a change of expression having invaded his face and dug a trench between his brows, replied,
"I'd rather read a letter taken from a bomb envelop than conceal the truth."
Maria, who'd been looking from the president to the journalist, said,
"I think an e-mail would more convenient than a letter. Who agrees?"
Yaro shook his head and turned his back to the rest of his country, and spoke, scanning the playground, for effect,
"I will close down your newspaper house. I will block your website. No member of your family will be able to find a job in this country -"
"But," Maria cut in, "I thought there were just three of us in this country; he has a family?"
"Yes. And you can send your mindless minions to go burn my house and rape my mother, sisters, wife and daughters. You greedy beast! This county belongs to all three of us. And to be a democratic president, you have to be voted in – and can be voted out."
Yaro, flashing a wicked, gap-toothed grin, said,
"Not if I have the conscience of the voters in my pocket."
"Our pocket," Mary said.
"What?" asked Yaro and Dele in unison.
Maria explained,
"What belongs to the president belongs to the first lady also. Who agrees?"
"Well, that's if you'll be my first lady."
Yaro seized Maria's wrist and pulled her closer.
"Your first and only lady," Maria cooed in the absence of pigeons.
"Well, that's if we make you president." Dele had stopped squinting, his eyes filling the frames of his glasses.
"Who's going to stop me? You? Ha-ha."
"Yaro! Yaro! Ka zo nan!"
Yaro let go of Maria's hand, and ran to the jeep waiting in the street, got in and slammed the door shut. The driver, his mother, drove off.
Maria looked at Dele and asked,
"I didn't know journalist got married."
"Yes, they do, but not to the wives of military dictators."
Dele squinted at a plane flying by. Maria sighed and said,
"Come, let's go do the swing."
Dele agreed.
"You sit, I'll push."
So was that afternoon in December spent, and a country of three was now a ten-year-old boy and a pretty, little girl.

Our Angels 28

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 06:27 AM PST


Our Angels 28

Desola was wheeled away for tests as soon as they arrived back at the hospital. His questions of, "Has she got a brain injury?" "Will she survive?" were ignored by the young-looking doctors rushing about.
"I didn't notice the bruise on her head until she collapsed," he told his brother-in-law. Her curly weave had done a good job of hiding the bruise. Although, his mind couldn't settle, he knew that a sharp blow to the head could have caused her seizure. He had attended too many first aid trainings- thanks to the NHS- not to spot the signs. Signs he should have known were symptoms of head trauma had littered the night. She was unconscious when he found her in the house. Drowsy and lethargic later. A trembling Fausat confirmed that Desola banged her head during the scuffle with the armed men.

He was by Desola's bed on Saturday afternoon with Fausat when he found out that Gbenga had become just a body. He was still by her bedside when Alhaji and Desola's mother arrived. As soon as he saw the frown on the older man's face he assumed he didn't really want him there. When he walked out for some fresh air, Alhaji followed him.
"You can go now." The older man's frown had been replaced by a severely pulled face.
"I'm waiting for Desola to wake up Alhaji."
Alhaji raised his hand at him. "Do you think I'm a fool? If you don't walk away now, I will get security to throw you out."
Richard could not bear it anymore. "It's too late to start playing the protective father. Where were you when your brother set his eyes on your daughters?"
If Ola had not come for him then, saving him from Alhaji's clenched fists, Richard knew he would have kissed the rich earth of the hospital grounds.
******************
Sunday morning peaked with sunshine rays before the news came to him. Fausat and Suab knocked on the door to tell him their sister, who was now conscious,wanted to see him. At the ward, he hugged her until she begged him to let go.
"How are you feeling?"
"Sore from the way you just grabbed me," she teased.
He laughed. When he'd finished laughing, a grin took residence on his face. That grin remained there even when he had to leave her side because her dad was on his way to see her.
*******************
Richard was in bed when she arrived four days later. He had only seen her once after her discharge from the hospital on Monday. But that visit was fraught with tension as her whole household had to keep an ear out for Alhaji's car. He heard her in the sitting room talking to Ola. Before he could get up to put on his clothes, she was in the room.
"Hi, beautiful," he greeted.
Desola looked beautiful. Stunning. He could barely contain himself when his stubborn eyes skimmed her legs. She had on a short lilac dress that showed her long legs.Wavy curls bounced about on her head, complimenting the dangling gold earrings in her ears.
"I can't believe you are in bed at this time.It looks like your age is catching up on you," she teased.
"Well, come here then. Let me show you how young I feel." The words had left his mouth before his lips could smack back in place.
Desola took her seat on the bed after taking off her shoes. The lights were dimmed, but underneath the light sheet that covered him, she knew exactly what his chest looked like. His taut shoulders were uncovered. She looked away. The torture was too much for her.
"What are you doing here at this time, babe?" Richard asked. "I'm not complaining. It's good to see you looking a lot better.I mean…gorgeous."
She leaned over and kissed him. Words deserted him. He'd wanted to ask her how her head felt. When she moved on top of him, he decided her head couldn't have felt better. Her hand strayed from his neck to his chest.Richard tore his lips from hers and grabbed her hand.
"I thought you wanted to wait."
Desola moved a strand of hair from her face. "You are going back to London the day after tomorrow, sweetheart. I will miss you."
"I will miss you too. But you will be back in London soon, babe." He exhaled as she wrapped her arms round him and her lips lingered on his neck. "I'm just not prepared. And I don't want you to do something you will regret."
"You are just scared my dad will have your head," she chuckled.
"Something like that. Anyway, it's really late. Let me get dressed and take you back home."
Richard knew he had to get her to go home. Deep down though, he didn't want her to go. Temptation overwhelmed him to the brink of faltering. The old Richard took advantage of her once. The new Richard knew a wise bird would always take its time building its nest.
"My brother is waiting for me in the car outside. Don't worry, I know where I'm not wanted," she snapped.
He reached for her and grabbed her waist before she could get away from him. He held on to her, aware that holding her close was not doing anything to quench the fire in his groin.
"See, I want you. Don't ever doubt it." They both knew it was impossible for him to be any more aroused. He lay back in bed after she had taken a spot on the edge of the bed.
"Is this about your uncle?"
She shook her head.
"You shouldn't care. Junior didn't come down from Lagos for his burial despite the fact that he only knows half of the story. You know what evil that man did." He paused, "So everything else is fine, Innit?"
"I'm not coming back to London, Richard."
Because she spoke without turning round to face him, he swore he had heard her wrong.
"What do you mean?" He sat up and guided her round to face him. Her face was wet. Confusion muddled his mind, distorting his speech. "Adesola…please tell me…you are saying you can't come right now? You want to wait till next month?"
Desola's tears wet the pink blush she had dabbed on her face after donning her dress.The conversation with her father that evening had lasted ten minutes. The longest conversation she'd ever had with him.
"My father has asked me to stay. I think he wants to make it up to me." She grabbed his hands when he tried to move away from her. "Please…I'm not trying to hurt you on purpose. But, I need to do this. I hate leaving them behind. I get lonely. It's hard living thousands of miles away from my family…"
"Babe, you have a family in London. There is Sister Grace… and my poor daughters who kept asking when you're coming back when we spoke to them on Monday. Perhaps you just don't love the girls enough?"
"You know I do…"
"Then come back to London. Me, Junior and the girls will be all the family you need." He wiped her tears with his thumb. "You can come home every year to see Fausa and your parents."
It was his wedding ring, which dug into her skin as his palm cupped her chin, that took her back to the question her father asked earlier that day.
"My daughter,omo ola o re ibikan, you will do well to listen to your father. Tell me, why are you wasting your time with a man that already has a wife?" Alhaji had continued when she tried to correct him, "My daughter, his wife may be dead but the flame of their love is still clearly burning in his heart.  The face he wears is as if tragedy struck yesterday. Stay home with your father omo mi. We will find you your own husband. Someone around your own age."
Desola found her voice. "My father wants me to stay Richard. I think he doesn't like the idea of me going back to be your lover."
"Okay," he sighed. "How would you feel if I go to see your father with my people?"
"I don't understand."
He moved closer to her, his hands stroking hers. "I want you to come back as my wife."
She stared at him for what seemed like ages, until he was sure that her stare was turning into a glare. The way Eniola's smile had turned into a glare when he proposed.
Desola could hear her heart thumping against her chest. "Richard…you know I can't…"

CRIME 101 Part One

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 06:20 AM PST

 CRIME 101 Part One

  
    I'm way out of my league on this one. I thought and I was right. My mouth was parched dry, my heart pumping so hard and loud I was looking round just to be sure people weren't hearing it pound in her cage. My heart's a woman after all, she's cowardly. My mum always said she wanted a girl, well she got one only in a male body. However she-heart or not, I've been pushed over the edge lately. They say a woman scorned has more fury than hell, everyone had better steer clear. It's better to be on the devil's side than to be in her path. In the meantime, I Was out of Ideas. What was I thinking? Why didn't I think at all? Yes I got through the security door with the gun, banks these days are so lax about the metal detection thingy. Once there's a crowd they let everyone through.

Now In the crowded banking hall, for the first time I stopped to think about my tomfoolery. I was angry and stomped out of my house, took a bus ride halfway across the city to rob a bank. The doctor's call was urgent, resolute and grim. Half payment by the end of the day or no treatment. So I walked out of the house with every reason to be angry but not enough to leave my reasoning behind. Walked to the only criminal friend I had ever known, and by God he had a gun to lend me. Rented it to me was more what he did. So I already owed two thousand Naira for this thoughtless and fruitless buffoonery.
I looked around to make sure my silliness was neatly tucked in my head, everyone was too busy to notice me anyway. Turns out sweat actually gets heavy on the face and in the armpits when produced profusely. I walked towards the exit. It was crowded at the exit so we were made to enter the metal detecting doors in pairs. A silly woman allowed her toddler in with me as she waited till the door opened again. It would take at least a minute after the creepy door set us free before she finally got out of the bank, I could easily kidnap her son or so I thought, or maybe I wasn't thinking again. I just got a new idea-Kidnapping. Definitely not this kid or his mother though. It's mothers like her that put their kids on flights just for the compensation for plane crash victims.
Jude was calling, he had been curious about what I needed the gun for. I just told him it was personal. Then he started the speech about me all grown up, growing balls and other gibberish. It's crazy how lowlifes and criminals were quick to equate crime to bravery or some bravado. Scaring unarmed people with guns is one of the most cowardly acts in my book. One that I must now resort to. I had always opined that anyone that felt too" brave" to live with civilians should join the military.
"never been happier to hear your voice man" Jude hollered so loudly I thought i put him on speaker
"yeah" I replied limply
"How did it go"
"still working on it" I lied, I hadn't even begun yet
I couldn't tell him about my silly idea to rob the bank else the "balls" he cultivated for me would wither and die instantly
"okay, don't just forget the payment"
He hung up.
Quietly I walked down the road away from the bank without looking back, the weight of my sweat and the gun on my waist wearing me out as I walked. Maybe it was the fact that I had not eaten in two days. Every penny in the last few weeks had to be accounted for now I had to spend another bucket load of cash to buy sachet water.
Drowned the bag in a few gulps, I felt better right away. I smiled lightly too when I wondered what I would have sounded like if I tried to rob the bank with my parched throat. I didn't even have a catch phrase, -Hands up! or Your Money or your life! or please help I need cash! I hadn't watched enough movies to know the right thing to say.
As I amused myself I noticed the mini-mart just adjacent from here I was sipping my second sachet water. Only one guard in blue uniform guarded the place, he was more of a greeter and a door opener than a guard. He definitely wasn't carrying a weapon. If both our hearts were taken out, I would probably beat him in a hand to hand fight. So why not rob the damned place?
So I squeezed the last drops of water into my mouth and walked across the road into the mart, I had just seven hundred naira in my pocket out of which I must but food for my ill mother and transport myself to her hospital so I definitely wasn't shopping for anything. I was pretty much the only customer in the store. Good news because it would be an easy robbery, it was bad news because it meant there would be little or no money in the cash registry.
It started about six months ago when she would complain constantly about sore throats, poor people would try putting salt in warm water or breathing into cracks in the wall, stupid beliefs that were incredulously believed. Well, my mother did both. The sore throats persisted so we upgraded to tomtom sweets and "baba blue". Then we up scaled to strepsils and dequadin and vitamin c, she took the minty things till her tongue, gums and palate were bleached. Eating became an arduous task. She lost a lot of weight then came the cough, it was terrible, multiple cough syrups were drowned like bowl soups.
Church, that was usually the next poor people's option, after all miracles were free. Fasting came naturally to us, we were doing long before there was need. Fast and pray sounded a lot like breathe and pray. The cough got worse, she was always tired. She couldn't sleep unless we propped up three or four pillows behind her back. The cough increased so did the pillows it was only a matter of time before she had to sleep erect. Her breathing got worse and heavier, and then we did what the average earners do-We took her to the hospital. After multiple scans and diagnosis, the doctor invited me to his office and spoke to me firmly but calmly. Pointing at the "map" of a heart in his office explaining that my mother had a heart condition that needed to be operated immediately. He pointed the item that needed to be replaced on his map, the triscupid valve. if only I could only wish i could get one at shoprite, I thought. Then he went on to explain in gibberrish how it was a streptococcal infection, a vegetation of bacterial that infected the valve and how it could be replaced with a plastic valve. Finally he spoke some English, the procedure would cost eight hundred thousand naira. It was time to do what the rich folks do- pay.
There was no way in the world I would get eight hundred thousand dollars in cash in a mini-mart, what was I thinking? Was I thinking? When or if I get over this, my excuse for being so stupid would be the weight of the burden I bore. I still had to pay for the gun nonetheless so why not rob the store anyway, besides I had to eat.
The two attendants at the store were busy watching a local movie on the T.V. and arguing about how many kids majid michael had. Two or three? That was about the number of bullets Jude lent me, two attendants and a guard. Surely I wasn't planning on killing anyone but if my threats were to be convincing, they had to be true. They were too engrossed to notice my confusion.
I could easily subdue the two girls but i still had to worry about the guard outside. He'd see me through the glass door if I held the girls at gunpoint and I had no idea what he'll do.
The girls got too loud watching the movie and their laughter suckered the guard in. He was curious to see the source of excitement so he walked into the store. The gods favour me. In that instant I pulled out my gun and walked straight to the guard and said in a calm cold voice
"Get on your knees"
I almost smiled when he got down on his knees without a fuss. It was the first time ever and the best feeling ever. Sovereignty! The two girls were already whimpering in their seats.
"get over here" I yelled at the guard with renewed confidence.
He obediently groveled towards me like a trained dog, if he was bold enough to look up he must have spotted the wry smile on my face. I didn't let him get too close, couldn't take the risk.
"Open the cash drawer" I yelled at the girls
One of them wobbly walked to the cash drawer, the wry smile was on my face again, this time broader.
Four thousand Naira! Four measly thousand naira, I bemoaned as I walked away from the store.
"We never sell today" the girl had pleaded
It wasn't worth the my impugning.
I walked slowly down the road, I didn't expect anyone to harass me over stealing four grand.
However, I had locked the guard and the girls in the mart's bathroom I could still feel the key in my pocket. I left them with a phone though. It was only a matter of time before they called someone to help. I had to get the heck outta the street, I hailed the nearest okada.
Hospitals all have the same sickening smell, sickening sights, bandages, blood, tears, human trellises and of course Insolence. Mother doesn't know her condition or what it will cost to be operated, The doctor and I had agreed it was best that way for now. If she knew the cost, she'd lose hope and ask to be taken home. Well I'm not resigning her fate just yet, I even bought her favourite dish.
"Patrick, Mr.Patrick"
I instantly recognized the doctor's voice, it's been just two days but the voice of hope is always distinct. He invited me into his office. The pounding began again, he wouldn't speak to me as I walked silently behind him, My knees began to wobble.
"Doctor Patrick"  I called out to him weakly, He bore my name but by no means bore my burden. I wondered how many people he had seen die over the years, he must have been void of emotions by now, same with serial killers I must imagine. If you've witnessed multiple deaths, you must have run out of tears, I think?
"Doctor Patrick, Is anything the matter?" I asked again
He managed to look back at me just before opening his office door.
"Just come with me"
Didn't know what the words meant, my brain froze.
I couldn't imagine what I'd do it the worst had happened, no idea what I'd become but I knew it wouldn't be pleasant. What's the point of living right if the righteous ones like mother were helpless?
He offered me a seat, the bad signs kept escalating. Surely it was over.
A doctor told me to sit once before too, Just before announcing father's demise just two years back, well I wasn't taking a seat today. I was grinding my jaws, I wouldn't cry but first thing I'd beg the doc to do is carve out the girl heart I had and replace it with Hitler's. It'll be just dumb to keep living on my knees begging the doc, begging the banks, begging for help. There's got to be another way, there had to. I would never be in this situation again ever I vowed silently as I waited for the bomb.
"Just tell me what is doc"
Then he took a deep breath and began.

Nick Cannon comes for Kanye West on twitter

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 06:18 AM PST

Kanye has been on a media blitz ranting about how he's a genius and the most impactful artist of this generation...blah blah blah. Nick Cannon took to Twitter to point out to Kanye that real geniuses don't have to announce it...

Trivia: They've both dated same women, super model Selita Ebanks and reality star Kim Kardashian. See more Tweets after the cut...


When a fan asked if he'd been hacked...Nick said yes, but also said that all the tweets on his timeline including the one directed at Kanye were from him...

Divine Diary (part 1)

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 06:17 AM PST


Divine diary
Yetunde recalled that fateful day her father was said to have bidden the world farewell.
She had just returned from school, alighting from a lorry returning to Kuti town from Igaolu village where her school was located. She observed there was crowd in front of her home. Iya Toun, her father's aunt, used to sell akara then, and Yetunde thought there were many customers on that very day. She grew confused when she saw that there was no akara on the counter, and those people seemed to be their 'face-me-I-face-you' neigbours and those from the next house; they stood, huddling together in silence.
Some people seemed to be sitting with heads drooped like a withered plant beside Iya Toun whose face had already turned rivers of tears.
Some of the neigbours started shaking their heads as they sighted the little Yetunde whose charming face was covered in fear. She forced her way to where Iya Toun was sitting at the verandah and asked what the matter was.

"Nothing. Okay?" Iya Toun said after rubbing her face with the end of her wrapper, and quickly forced a warm smile at her, "Go and drop your bag in the room. Your food is on the table."
"Why are so many people here," Yetunde asked curiously, "and why are you not selling your goods today? I saw tears on your face, Mama. Please tell me what the matter is …Where is Toun?" The last question heaved a lump in her throat. She thought something had happened to Toun, her female cousin, because she was a sickler.
"She is not back from school yet." Iya Toun responded firmly, trying as much as she could to contain her sorrow, "Go inside, nothing has happened to anyone. Okay?"
Yetunde asked no more question throughout that day. She was expecting her Dad to come and pay her a visit on the next day which was Saturday. He had always come to give her money, new storybook and clothes every weekend. She didn't worry much. He might be too busy after all, she thought. She was hopeful to see him on the next Saturday, but he didn't appear throughout the day.
"Mama, why is Daddy not coming to see me?" she had whined.
"'Oloju ede mi', Daddy is too busy to come around." Iya Toun said, and pecked her on the forehead.
She wasn't convinced yet. No matter how busy Dad could be, he couldn't afford to miss his only precious daughter's face for two whole weeks, she assured herself.
Many weeks passed, she kept pestering Iya Toun to take her to Idenro village where her father was residing. Iya Toun told her that he had travelled out of the country to buy her new clothes, jewelries and shoes. Yetunde's heart leapt excitedly at the mention of those new surprises.
After two years she could bear it no more. No one could satisfy her needs as much as her Dad. She soaked her pillow with tears all night. Sometimes, she would have bad dreams, seeing her Dad shedding tears and beckoning her to come and meet him, but she could not – there would be a deep pit between them. She had that same nightmare almost all night.
One day, she had demanded the true story of her Dad's sudden disappearance from Iya Toun. She had realized that her Dad would inform her if truly he had travelled in order to buy her gifts. When the woman wouldn't yield, Yetunde held a sharp knife, aiming to stab herself in the stomach. It was that moment Iya Toun broke into tears and narrated what happened to her.
She told her that her Dad had been mistakenly shot by armed robbers while going to work early in the morning.
"I knew it then!" Yetunde collapsed to her knees while boiling tears sprang out of her eyes. The bloodthirsty knife clattered on the floor; "I was suspicious that somebody died … so it's my Dad." Her voice sank with the last word.
"I can't let your generation vanish like this, Yetunde," Iya Toun burst into tears as she cuddled her mournfully; they were almost drinking from each other's tears as they both sniffed, "I can't watch you die … I love you. Okay? … I love you so much like my own daughter … I want you to take heart. You don't need to go and join your both parents in heaven. I will try as much as I can to take care of you."
Yetunde's father, Kehinde, was a primary school teacher during his lifetime. He was nicknamed 'Fine Oyinbo Teacher' by his pupils because of his fair skin and pointed nose. Yetunde was his only daughter and she had taken after her father with fair skin. Yetunde's mother had died during childbirth when Yetunde was four years of age. Ever since then she had been staying with Iya Toun in Kuti town.
Yetunde had sworn that her father's murderer and all his family must also be doomed by bullet of a gun. She had sworn for 41 nights with her Bible on her chest. She recorded the day she started in her diary in order to be precise with the calculation. And she would burst into tears each day she read out from the diary all the promises her father had made to her.
Yetunde's mind came back to present from the sorrowful memory. The incident was about 8 years ago. It was just a few months ago Yetunde turned eighteen. Now she was standing along a dusty road that led to the stream, waiting for Temi, her best friend, who had promised to meet her on the way. It was New Year's Eve. Kuti town in Abeokuta was teeming with new faces from across the town. Yetunde was holding a purple basin in her left hand while her right hand was akimbo. The 'ankara' wrapper and the white, sleeveless blouse on her still defined her plump, shapely figure.
'Tomorrow will be the beginning of 1992', she thought joyously and started praying for all she wished to achieve in that year.
Yetunde could remember how she used to splash water with Temi and many boys during her childhood at that very stream. She couldn't swim in the midst of boys again. She thought there was a veil blocking her eyes then. It was those times she was still in primary school, but now in SS2, looking forward to graduate in SS3. She was in Art class, aspiring to study mass communication in higher institution. She wondered how her dream would be fulfilled without her father. She wasn't certain if Iya Toun would sponsor her education to university level.
Just then Yetunde observed a group of boys coming from afar off towards the stream. They soon walked closer with water barrels, kegs and paint containers. Four of them were boys from her neighbourhood and others were strangers. She found herself staring at one of the strange boys without knowing the reason why.
She quickly controlled herself as she observed that the boy's eyes was about to meet hers from the gathering. She briefly exchanged greetings with Jide, her childhood friend, and the three boys that lived right beside her house as they walked past her. She ignored those unfamiliar faces that seemed be to be admiring her look, including the one that just trapped her heart as a snare does to little rats.
Yetunde's pride was taller than Olumo rock, and she could be jovial sometimes. To those familiar boys, Yetunde's beauty grew more every day like that of a rose planted by the river, and the strangers couldn't resist her sight.
Yetunde could hear some of the boys hail Jide as 'Oko iyawo' and wished to hear him protest against that; instead he was smiling and swaggering while they all kept glancing back at her. Jide was envied by his friends as they all believed he was more than friends with Yetunde who was one of the jewels in Kuti town.
Yetunde received not less than 15 letters from boys on a weekly basis, and she had always burned most to ashes after reading them without giving replies. She would laugh at some boys' grammatical errors and bad handwriting. Boys rarely proposed to her physically because her face seemed to turn a mighty fire, and in the end she would rain insult on them.
The only male friends she had were her classmates in school and few ones she could accept as friends in the neighbourhood. Some boys had once planned to assault her, but they were restrained by the belief that she was a disguised daughter of 'Yemoja', the river goddess. Otherwise how could she appear so perfect in all bodily features?
Yetunde wished she could let those boys know that Jide was nothing to her more than a childhood friend. In those days, as a little child, Jide always acted the role of a father while Yetunde, Temi and their other friends would act as wives during child's play called 'Mummy and Daddy'. She laughed at the thought that she had always become jealous, fighting for the role of Jide's first wife. That kind of role was for child's play. Childhood was an entirely different world! She thought.
The Little Jide of those days had now grown strong, fit and good-looking. And he was the one who had been defending Yetunde from bullies by their peers in their very tender age. Jide had once saved her from drowning at the stream, and that very day Yetunde had promised to marry him when they became grown-ups. And now she thought that was a childish promise. Such promise might not be a debt in God's eyes. Somehow, Jide didn't seem to attract her any longer. She only wanted him to remain her friend.
Her mind wandered back to the sight of that attractive boy. Although he didn't appear to be the most handsome of them all, but there was something peculiar about his look. He was gracefully tall and had eyes of magnet. That was what she could relate those eyes to, as they were too catchy and delicate like that apple which tempted Adam and Eve in the 'Garden of Eden'. Maybe just like her own eyes; because Iya Toun and some of their neigbours would sometimes call her 'Yetunde oloju ede.' (Yetunde whose face appears like a crayfish) It was because the appearance of crayfish is always tempting and irresistible after it's been fried or roasted.
"So, you are still here!" Temi intruded on her thought from behind.
"Yes of course," Yetunde said, wearing a naughty smile as they headed to the stream together, "Didn't you ask me to wait for you?"
"I did, but I expected you to leave for the stream when I have delayed you," Temi said as she fumbled with a strap of cloth around her waist. Unlike her friend, she was wearing a black skirt and a blue shoulder-high blouse which stuck to her slender, brownish figure.
"What took you so long?"
"If I tell you, you will definitely be angry with me,"
"If it's something reasonable, I won't get angry."
"I was held down by the story book I borrowed from you; DRUMMER BOY. It's such an intriguing story."
"For that reason; I am collecting my book today," Yetunde said playfully, "you only use your own money to buy chewing gum. You don't buy story books. My English Teacher advised me to keep reading story books to further develop my vocabulary."
"What is the meaning of that big 'oyinbo'," Temi asked rather humorously.
"Don't tell me you've never heard about the word VOCABULARY. What have you been learning in your school since all this while? Ehn? 'Olodo' girl like you in SS1."
"Look at what I have been doing," Temi passed her basin from her left hand to her right and posed, curving her wrist to arch her palm, " 'asko oo!' If I don't know the meaning of 'vocabulary' I would rather go back to my primary school. Jokes apart, I am really learning new words, and most importantly morals. I will start saving my money for story books too."
"Na you sabi o," Yetunde teased, "if you like, keep buying sweets and chewing gum."
The two friends laughed heartily. They talked about so many things – about the way they used to play with mud by the stream, building a so-called bird's house with wet sand along with all those boys who had now become grown-ups. Temi told Yetunde about one of their friends who happened to be the first girl amongst their peers who developed big breasts. She used to mock her mates, especially Yetunde and Temi as 'Olosan wewe' – unripe-orange-breasted-girls. Now Yetunde and Temi were proud of their once little breasts that had finally become ripe, natural oranges. The girl was now under medical check-up for swollen breast and cardiac problem due to unnatural breasts. She had confessed how she had gone to put 'guluso', ground beetle, on her nipples so as to become busty to attract bigger boys at early teenage. That was the current news in the town.
"All those bigger boys had heard about it too," Temi concluded triumphantly, "she will be humiliated if she ever recovers from that disease."
"I don't know why she was so in haste to become a big girl," Yetunde mocked, "Does she think that becoming a 'big girl' is all about carrying big breast around?"
"Don't mind her," remarked Temi, "my Mum once told me that fake big girls and boys only care much more about their appearance rather than their brain. She said being GREAT is being BIG. During her youthful age around 50's, she said big boys and girls of their time were recognized for their intelligence. She made mention of some great men we have in our country. People like Chinua Ache… I can't remember that surname."
"It must be Achebe – the author of 'Things fall apart'."
"Yes … Chinua Achebe." Temi affirmed and continued, "Wole Soyinka, Dr. Nnamdi Azikwe among others. She said they must be big boys of their youth, and I agreed with her. I have once told you that Mum used to stay in Ibadan. She had moved down to Abeokuta after meeting Dad. Mum attended the same university as Professor Wole Soyinka in Ibadan …"
"Really?" Yetunde interrupted.
"Yes," Temi continued, "I never knew too until the day she told me. Mr. Soyinka started schooling abroad after the scholarship he won in 1952. To cut the long story short; ever Since Mum told me about the secret of being a big boy or girl; I have always wanted to be a big girl with big brain by all means."
"And me too! I will try my best to become a renowned broadcaster."
Temi said that her own dream too was to work on radio or television station so as to be famous.
To be continued….

Kim destroyed her credibility': Furious Kris Jenner 'demands intervention' after watching daughter Kim's tacky Bound 2 video with Kanye West

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 06:10 AM PST

Kim destroyed her credibility': Furious Kris Jenner 'demands intervention' after watching daughter Kim's tacky Bound 2 video with Kanye West

Fashion photographer Nick Knight directed the controversial video for Bound 2, which shows Kim nuzzling into Kanye while simulating sex as he sings and raps about threesome and casual sex. 
Kardashian matriarch Kris reportedly watched the video two days before the general public and is understood to have been privately troubled by her topless antics with her fiancé. 
A source told Heat magazine: 'Kris went ballistic, telling her daughter this is worse than the 2007 leaked sex tape that Kim made with her ex-boyfriend Ray J, because that was meant to stay private, while this was meant to go public.


She started crying, saying how ashamed she was to see her daughter being 'forced into something so degrading'. She's saying that Kim's destroyed all of her credibility.'
Sisters Khloe and Kourtney are also said to be dismayed by the video, which was filmed in front of a blue screen and sees Kim straddle Kanye while he rides a motorbike similar to the one used by Ryan Gosling in The Place Beyond The Pines.

Kourtney told her she thought the video was disgusting and disrespectful, to the family and all their relatives, but also questioned why Kim did it,' the source added. 
The entire family are said to be deeply concerned by the potential damage Kim's recent appearance could have on the lucrative Kardashian brand. 
'They are considering an intervention,' said the source. 'They think Kim is really struggling and 'all over the place' since she had baby North.

Error Call

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 06:02 AM PST

Error Call
BEEP… BEEP…BEEP ERROR CALL
I looked at the number one more time as I clicked on the send button, watching the screen on my phone as the call connected.
Strange things sure do happen, I echoed to myself. I just couldn't believe that the same 'chick' who wouldn't give a hoot about me just wouldn't stop laughing and telling me how funny she thinks I was or rather 'Jide' was.
I know you're probably asking yourself, 'what the f…is he talking about?'
I'll tell you the story…
My name's Frank and I 'm talking about a friend in church who I recently began to take a more solid interest in, somehow it just didn't click as she went from friendly to cold when we had a little misunderstanding…(wouldn't want to bore you with all the details) but I think frankly, she considered me a bit boring.
Alone by myself one Friday evening…I had one of my numerous naughty ideas and before I could think it through I had dialed the number.

'Hello, em.. What's up, it's Jide,' I muttered into the receiver.
'Yes?' Isoken replied
I could sense caution in her voice…after what seemed like a moment of blurps, the difficult part was over. I had convinced her that it was an error call and somehow had begun a conversation as Jide.
She didn't recognize my voice and believe me, it was fun. I carved out a new personality as Jide and she was buying all of it. 'Kiss me,' I said only a week later.
'Kiss you?' she replied giggling, 'how do I do that?' she asked.
'Just send it down I'll get it,' I whispered sounding as mushy as I could.
Mwah! I heard the smack of her lips on the other end.
'What are you wearing?' I asked in as much of a whisper as I could.
'Why do you want to know?' she replied a bit coarsely.
'Sorry,' I said hitting a rebound. 'I was just trying to paint a picture of you on the canvas of my mind.'
'Okay…'
'So?'
'Em…I'm in my night clothes,' she cooed
'Hmmm…you bringing sexy back…' I hummed a line of Timberlake's hit.
All I could hear from the other end was some stifled giggles.
'Care to dance?' I asked still flirting
'How would you do that?' she replied
'Trust me my lady,' I replied, putting on my charms.
'Okay…'
The game went on and on into the recesses of the night, and all the while I could tell she was falling for this unknown Prince who was living in a city different from hers.
As Frank I stopped calling Isoken on the phone as it had come to a point where she could decipher Jide's voice on the phone. It would not take so much brain to tell it was the same voice speaking.
'Jide, don't tell me you're not coming to Lagos for my birthday,' she queried
'Em…seriously I would love to but the truth is, that is the period when 'busy' begins in my office.'
'Do you realize we've not seen ourselves?' she asked
'Hmm,' I grunted in reply
'And you're so okay with that?' she probed further
'It's not like that sweet but the truth is…'
'The truth Jide is that, you're coming down for my birthday or you cease to call my number.' She said with a note of finality clearly registered in her voice.
'Yes ma'am,' I replied
'That's your business sir,' she replied sarcastically
'Baby, what is this?' I asked, feigning surprise at her outburst. 'This is a little misunderstanding we can solve'.
There was that familiar silence and then I buckled…'okay I'm coming down'
'Even if you don't come…,' she said still showing her displeasure at what she called my 'shakara'.
Her birthday is next week and here I am with thoughts whizzing past the corners of my mind in supersonic speed…different thoughts that is.
Watching her display pieces of our discussion on her Facebook page and openly declare that she's in love amazes me. Yes, she's so bold cos' she doesn't think Jide has access to her Facebook wall. And hearing her anxiously expect someone she has not seen so excitedly is fun. The real fun to me however is that she doesn't even know Jide is close-by watching how she's squealing around on her page about how she's found love.
Now I'm like what do I do?
She likes me as Jide, which is obvious but she can't stand me as Frank…at least that's what she displays, but her Jide is hid in my Frank. And for Jide to be on that date next week he has to go in Frank's body but wait a minute before you go telling yourself that I'm a two faced punk, did I tell you that Frank knows Isoken as the 'Holy sister Isoken' while Jide knows Isoken as a naughty adventurous chick?…meaning Isoken too is somewhat of a two faced b…..ch.
Folks talk to your boy, what should I do?

If Your Man Don't Have Cash, Don't Give Him Séx ––Femi Davies

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 05:31 AM PST

 I don't know why people are beginning to equate sex with money these days. Do you think this is right?

Ice Prince Denied His Son From His Girlfriend: SEE His Reason

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 05:30 AM PST

When the story of his girlfriend's pregnancy and delivery first broke, there were so many controversies in and around the issue as some of his close pals claimed that it wasn't only Ice Prince that was dating the lady and they had wondered why she, and whoever planned it with her, decided to tire it to the popular rapper.

Some of these issues forced Ice Prince to deny the lady and her baby. But all is well now and he has taken full custody and responsibility for his baby. Below is Ice Prince's position on the pregnancy saga:

You initially denied having a baby. Why?
It was complicated back then, I didn't really know what was happening and I wasn't sure of certain things. So the best I had to do then was denying it and sort out things first. Now I know he is my child and I have done everything as a father ever since.

What is the relationship like with his mother?
I speak with her often and it is usually about the baby. That is all for now.

Pastor TB Joshua Finally Opens Up on Jim Iyke’s Deliverance

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 05:29 AM PST

Prophet-TB-Joshua
Pastor TB Joshua in a rare interview with Punch opened up on Jim Iyke and allegations that he pays people to come and fakemiracles.He also said God queries him when he invites presidents to his church.
On Jim Iyke
Oh please, don't drag me into that. All I can say is that if a person needs to see a doctor, he should be free to do so. I like the young man. He has been defending himself on the internet. Is he not enjoying a better life now? Are things not working for him?
On allegations he pays people to fake miracles
 How much will I give to the president of a nation to come here? Even when they come, I don't get any financial gain but I incur cost because I want to ensure that they are well cared for. That is all; I even prefer to spend my time with the poor than to be with the presidents. If a president visits this place today, the whole of the day will be devoted to that visit, I would have lesser time for the poor people, who need my attention. God has been warning me over this trend so much that when some presidents said that they wanted to visit me, I said no. I said it would be better for me to visit them in their countries. Each time they visit this place, I receive query from God because of my time that should have been used to attend to the poor and the needy that are waiting for me. One soul is not superior to the other, why should I continue to receive query? Really out of three presidents that may visit, there will hardly be one that will show good example of the counsel that they received from me. If the needy are more receptive to God, it is better to give them more of my time.

Meet The Man Tinubu Wants to Take Over as Governor in Lagos

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 05:25 AM PST

Strong indications have emerged that the leadership of All Progressives Congress in Lagos have acquiesced to the request of Christians in the state for a Christian governor in 2015. The candidate of choice is Ayo Gbeleyi, the present Commissioner of Finance in the administration of quintessential Governor Babatunde Fashola.

The decision to present a Christian candidate emerged after due consultations with eminent Christian leaders and clerics who have promised to mobilise other faithfuls to vote enmasse for the party if a Christian emerges as gubernatorial candidate in the state. The leadership of the APC, after a thorough search, have found a willing and reliable Christian candidate in Ayo Gbeleyi, a thoroughbred professional known for his exceptional brilliance and intelligence.

Since the searchlight has beamed on Gbeleyi, Christian leaders are delighted that Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu has not only heeded to their demands but responded accordingly.

They had argued that Moslems have successively governed the state since the inception of democracy. It is just fair and equitable to allow a Christian to govern Lagos, given the fact that successive governors of the state since 1999 that democracy returned have been Moslems. Besides, they argued that the three Senatorial seats are occupied by Moslems. The call for a Christian governor, observers of politics in the state reasoned is not to ignite any religious crisis but to ensure balance and equity.

Observers opined that the efforts of successive administrations in the state in areas of governance, accountability and reliability are not and should not be exclusive of faith or religion.

A thoroughbred candidate like Gbeleyi, they posited, is equally suitable for the exalted post. With his pedigree and insights in public service, finance, procurement, construction, project management, etc, he is, no doubt, a round peg in a round hole. It could be recalled that he single-handedly planned and made a major breakthrough with his well-thoughout Public Private Partnership (PPP) initiative in Lagos. While he served as the Director-General of the parastatal, he also doubled as the Senior Adviser to the Executive Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola on the project.

Over time, his visionary leadership amid pressure, necessity and even adversity on several projects in his purview yielded unprecedented positivity and growth that sooner than ever, Lagos becomes an envy spot in PPP. Commendable is his ability to work seamlessly with the Ministries Department Agencies (MDAs) to realise and institutionalise Lagos of our dream and the government strides to make the state a Megacity is achieved.

The beauty and elegance we see in the services of the Bus Rapid Transit, (BRT), Lekki-Epe Toll Concession, the Independent Power Plant, Oluwole and Tejuoso Market Developments, Adeniran Ogunsanya Ultra Modern Shopping and Retail Commercial Centres are some of the lofty ideas he has shared and executed with the support of the purposeful leadership in the saddle of governance in the state.

Asiwaju Tinubu, after wide consultations with all interest groups and political blocs in the state, is optimistic that Gbeleyi with his background can effortlessly manage the internally generated revenue of over N18billion of the state and continue in the stride of previous governments to make Lagos an enviable commercial base.
It takes a visionary leader to fish out a promising successor.

Asiwaju, from all ramifications have proven that he knows one when he sees one. His ability and confidence in his choice of BRF as his successor has proven his insightful leadership. He will not go wrong with Ayo Gbeleyi.
 
According to reliable sources, Gbeleyi, in readiness for the task ahead, has not only received the nod of top ans formidable stakeholders in politics, he has built a financial war chest to prosecute his electionering campaign. His readiness from all fronts, our sources hinted, gives Asiwaju a strong conviction that he is the man for the job and other contenders are pretenders. He has also built a formidable media team to actualise his dream.

For Gbeleyi, it has been a calculated rise to the top. His recent appointment on the recommendation of his immediate past boss, the former Finance Commissioner, Hon. Tokunbo Abiru, the express approval by the Executive Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola and the state's Assembly speak volume of his character and disposition towards public service.

 With his record of service, wisdom and support from all stakeholders and the people of Lagos State, Hon. Ayo Gbeleyi is poised to steer the ship of the state to greater heights.

I’m Ready To Act Nude – Nollywood Actress Queeneth Hilbert

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 05:24 AM PST

Queeneth-Hilbert
Read what she told a report below…
Where are you from? 
I am from Nigeria.
What part of Nigeria are you from?
I think the fact that I said I'm from Nigeria is okay. Anyway my father is Lebanese while my mother is from Ebonyi State.
Would you mind acting semi-núde, or being specific, on pánt and brá?
I don't mind, if the money is right, why not? The problem with Nigerians is that most of us are hypocrites. This same pánt and brá is the reason some of them buy or rent Hollywood movies. What is wrong in someone being free, doing his or her job? Some actresses would want to act a role but they will be like, I don't want to be criticized. I don't believe in all that.

I get a script and if it involves acting seminúde, as long as it's an integral part of the story, why not? If I decide to take up a seminúde role tomorrow I know some people will not like it. I am not doing it for anybody to like it. I am doing my job. I am building my own profile. I don't see anything wrong in acting in pánts and brá.
Are you not bothered that that might scare the guys away from asking your hand in marriage?
Are you kidding me? Oh my God! A man that was meant for me by God will look away because of the controversies. Most of the time, 70 percent of the fame we have, comes with controversies. If there is no controversy then there is no fame. That is how it has been, whether Bollywood, Hollywood or Nollywood.
If you want to be a celebrity, people must talk about you, good or bad, they are all controversies. If a man doesn't want to ask my hand in marriage because of my controversial nature, he can take a walk. There are many guys out there so he can just take the door and create space for other people to come in. It is as simple as that.
We have a lot of hunky actors in Nollywood, if you were to pick, who will that be?
OC Ukeje, no, not my type. Joseph Benjamin no, he's not my type. IK Ogbonna no, he's too fair and he acts like everybody is all up on him. I don't like dragging my man. You know Gbenro of Tinsel. I would go with Gbenro of Tinsel. I wouldn't mind playing that kind of role with Gbenro.
Who gave you your first kiss in a movie?
I think it was either John Dumelo or Yul Edochie. I can't remember.
Off screen, who would you kiss between those two?
John Dumelo

Omotola, Donjazzy, named among 2013 Africa's 100 Most Influential People

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 05:22 AM PST

Actress Omotola Jalade Ekeinde, music producer Don Jazzy, writer Chimama Adichie and musicians P-Square have been named one of Africa's 100 Most Influential People in 2013 by the New African Magazine

Other Africans in the list include Ghanaian/US actor Idris Elba, Nigerian/UK actor Chiwetel Ejiofor, Sudan supermodel Alek Wek, South African comedian Trevo Noah, South African fashion mogul, Precious Moloi-Motsepe and Senegalese actor Omar Sy. Well deserved. See the full list HERE

90% Of People Who Come Here Come To Confirm If The Church Is Truly Devilish- Prophet TB Joshua

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 05:21 AM PST

Prophet TB Joshua is a man of God who a lot of people have criticized in the past and are still criticizing. In this new interview with Punch, the prophet explained why people think his church is devilish, how they have been managing the negative criticism and why his church is more popular outside Nigeria than in Nigeria. Continue below.

Why is it that your ministry seems to be more popular outside Nigeria than in Nigeria?
As it is written in the Bible, a prophet has no honour in his country. I am not an evangelist or a pastor, I am a prophet. If my people had understood the work from the beginning, it could have affected the glory of God in my life today.
Praises and adoration can make you a local champion.
I may not be accepted by some people in Nigeria but my acceptance in the world has been announcing me to my world. When you look at the people working with me, you see that the ratio of Nigerians working with me are not more than 10 per cent.
Sometimes when I see some ministries printing handbills, using signboards to advertise their church, I say those things are not necessary. God is the one inviting people, if you allow him to do it, the solution to their problems will be waiting for them.
At synagogue, our critics are our advertisement. They are people that don't want to hear about us. They tell other people that 'that church is devilish;' unknowingly, some of the people they tell get inquisitive and they will want to come here and see what a devil looks like since they haven't seen one before.
God has been using this as advertisement for us. Ninety per cent of people who come here do so in the bid to come and verify what they had heard about this church.
When some of them get here, they will sit at the back, fearing that they could be hurt. Some put on dark glasses or disguise in a way that will not allow people that know them to recognise them.
But before the service is over, some of them will pick up their bags and move to the front seats. They eventually become my prayer warriors.
Let me tell you something that amazes me and that I always thank God for – those who are with me are more than those that are against me. They keep supporting me all over the world. I have more, more, more people around the world. Whenever I say this, tears flow from my eyes (sobs for a while).
These are tears of joy. I get so sad when I hear people's confession when their eyes become open to what God is doing here. Some say, 'I wish I had known this, my mum would not have died. She asked me to bring her here but because of what I was hearing about this place, I refused until she died. I hope that she will forgive me."'
But many people see you as mystical, they think you are not a believer in Jesus Christ; that you belong to some other sect. What is the source of your power?
Your question is funny. We don't get power, it is faith we have. The power in our life is released by faith through our mouth. The issue of getting power is wrong. We don't talk about getting power here. If you don't have faith, power will remain dormant.

In Mark, Jesus said this kind won't be possible but by prayer and fasting. The disciples had power but lacked faith to release it.

The Okoye boys in South Africa for the Channel O awards

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 05:19 AM PST

This is the first pic of Jude Okoye with his brothers Peter and Paul Okoye since his absence at Peter's wedding to Lola two weeks ago. Peter has since said reports that his family does not support his marriage to Lola Omotayo is ridiculous.

He told Encomuim magazine;
"I saw some of those reports and was full of laughter. Everybody is just laughing because the reports are like comedy to us. Honestly, there is no iota of truth in the rumour. But it's one of the prices you pay as a celebrity, so I remain focused.

Saheed Balogun Drags Estranged Wife, Fathia Balogun To Court Over Name

Posted: 30 Nov 2013 05:18 AM PST

Saheed and Fathia Balogun have called it quit long before now. But Saheed isn't finding it funny that Fathia still bears his name-Balogun. Saheed last year threatened that Fathia should stop using his name, but that fell on the actress' deaf ears. In an interview shortly after Saheed asked her to stop using his name, Fathia said, "I laugh, my name is Fathia Balogun and it's going to remain Balogun; nobody can ever change that and nobody can stop me from answering that name." 

The case is now in court.
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