Welcome to Olokunbola's Blog |
- Can retirement kill you?
- Kissing co-workers
- Say what? When the boss is a gossip
- When office gossip is about you
- Husband Catches His Wife In The Act With Her "Best Friend"
- Photo: Jonathan Inaugurates National Conference Committee
- Julius Agwu and wife welcome son
| Posted: 07 Oct 2013 11:21 AM PDT  In 2003, Dr Harry Prosen stepped down as head of psychiatry at the Medical College of Wisconsin, but the then 71-year-old had no plans to retire. Rather, the doctor intended to focus on other "jobs" that would keep him busy. Now 83, Prosen still sees several patients, consults for a number of organisations, recently reviewed a 600-page manuscript for a friend and regularly pores over a handful of medical journals because he "just wants to keep up," he said. It's not just a love of working that has kept Prosen toiling away 30 hours a week as an octogenarian. He also sees keeping busy as a matter of life or death. Prosen said he is certain that if he stopped working entirely, he would literally die not long after. He could be on to something. A number of studies show that retirement is, in fact, bad for your health. A May 2013 report published by the London-based Institute of Economic Affairs found that retirement increased the chances of suffering from depression by 40%, while it increased the probability of having at least one diagnosed physical ailment by about 60%. That impact was assessed after controlling for the usual age-related conditions. Gabriel Sahlgren, director of research at the Centre for Market Reform of Education and author of the IEA report, was surprised by just how much retirement undermined health. He looked at 9,000 people across 11 European Union countries and found that across borders, people suffered in the same ways and to similar degrees. In the first year of retirement, health actually improved — "It's nice to get some rest from work," he said — but two to three years later retirees' mental and physical conditions began deteriorating. Other studies have shown similar results. Between 1992 and 2005, Dhaval Dave, an associate professor of economics at Bentley University in Waltham, Massachusetts, looked at 12,000 Americans and found that, on average, people experience some sort of ailment within six years of retiring. Hypertension, heart disease, stroke and arthritis are common physical ailments, Dave said. He, too, found that depression increased after retirement. Though retirement ages may differ from country to country — in China men retire at 60, in India people retire between 60 and 65 and in Norway it's closer to 67 —studies done in other nations have produced comparable findings. Health problems, both physical and mental, are exacerbated by retirement, whether a retiree is 65 or 75. The culprits There are a number of reasons why health declines after retirement, said Dave, but, mental and social stimulation are a large factor. For many people, work is where they are the most social and do the most physical activity. When that core social network is removed, health declines. "If those social interactions disappear, you'll get lonely," said Sahlgren. "Research suggests that loneliness leads to mental illness and that could lead to physical illness because you stop taking care of yourself." A reduction in income can also affect health, said Sahlgren. People who make less money may buy cheaper foods, avoid going to the doctor as often as they should and abandon their gym membership, he said. Mary Peterson doesn't need a study to tell her how retirement affects health. The Muskoka, Ontario, 60-something lives in a community of mostly retirees and sees firsthand the effects of not working. A surgeon friend had a stroke two months after retiring, while another friend started forgetting details after months of all-day TV watching, Peterson said. "Once you take the work away most people have no idea what to do," she said. "And that's what leads to deterioration." Peterson's husband retired from a stressful finance job when he was 55. Four years later he was diagnosed with cancer. While retirement wasn't likely a factor in his illness, the possibility did cross her mind. "Health is a funny thing," she said. Her husband beat the disease and is now a healthy 66-year-old. But, Peterson said, he didn't stay home after his work life ended — something she believes has contributed to his continued great mental and physical health. He decided to pursue his lifelong love of singing, joined a vocal group and practices nearly every day. Peterson believes his singing has helped keep him alive and well. Beating retirement decline When Prosen, the psychiatrist, looks around at his friends and acquaintances, the healthiest still work, volunteer or live an active and social life, he said. That, say researchers, is the key to staying healthy mentally and physically well into retirement. Retirees must fill the social and physical activity gap the end of work leaves, transitioning into activities that keep them stimulated, Dave said. It can help to move to a community with other retirees, where social interaction can continue unabated or where there are organised activities, lectures and get-togethers. There is, of course, another option: continue working. Sahlgren points out that people are living longer than ever before. Many countries have life expectancies of close to or over 80 today, about a decade longer than in 1960. So there's less reason to retire at 65. Sahlgren does not suggest working until, say, you die at your desk, but rather believes that older people should not quit work cold turkey. Cutting down on the number of working hours is a better alternative than full retirement for many people, Sahlgren said. "It may be beneficial to reconsider the kind of work and retirement balance that we've established," he said. "That might be able to circumvent some of the negative health effects associated with not working." While Prosen said that he may one day stop seeing patients, he plans to continue working in some capacity until an illness forces him out of a job. "Alzheimer's could push me to retire," he laughed, "but if I have a say that will never happen."  |
| Posted: 07 Oct 2013 11:10 AM PDT  Q: Two co-workers on our small team are dating. Here's the problem: one is a married man, with kids, who is cheating on his wife. The other is a divorced single mom. While this might not be a violation of HR policy, it's making the rest of us uncomfortable and clouding our view of these two colleagues as professionals. What, if anything, can we do? "The reality of the situation is that, especially with small teams, you need to find a way to look beyond the personal behaviour of your colleagues, to put blinders on, so to speak, and just focus on things you can control," said Thorn Jenness, an executive coach and HR consultant in Huntington, New York. Although you may find aspects of your colleagues' personal lives distasteful, or not up to your own moral standards, you can't let that have any bearing on how you interact with them in a work context. As long as you can do your job, and they can do theirs, whom they date is their own business. However, if you think this issue will make it difficult to do your job, ask your manager quietly about switching to another role within the company. The person with the sticky problem here is your manager, who oversees each of the people in this couple. First, she should determine whether, in fact, this situation violates company policy. If that's the case, problem solved: the company likely has a process for dealing with policy violations, taking it out of the manager's hands. If no company rules are broken, then it's time for the manager and the two colleagues to have a behind-closed-doors chat. She should focus on the impact the relationship is having on the rest of the team, while refraining from commenting on whether she approves or disapproves of the affair itself. The manager should also ask the couple to be discreet and warn them that if the relationship keeps getting in the way of others' work, she may have to escalate the issue to superiors — or separate the pair. "As a manager, sometimes the hardest thing to do is to bring attention to your subordinates about how their personal behaviour is unknowingly affecting other members of the team," Jenness said. People don't like to hear that their private lives are an open secret in the office. But that's the risk they take when they start dating officemates.  |
| Say what? When the boss is a gossip Posted: 07 Oct 2013 10:59 AM PDT  When the boss is a gossip, avoid being his confidant. (Photos.com) Q: My boss gossips to me about my colleagues, who also report to him. He denigrates their work and generally belittles them. I feel like a privileged insider when he does this, but I realize he is most likely saying similar things to them about me, so I don't trust him. What can I do? "The first victims of scapegoating and blame in a workplace are never the last," said Ben Dattner of Dattner Consulting in New York City, an organizational psychologist and author of The Blame Game: How the Hidden Rules of Credit and Blame Determine Our Success or Failure. While studies show we connect better with people when sharing dislikes rather than sharing likes, it's a bad idea to base your relationship with your boss on how poorly he believes the rest of his direct reports are performing. It can also hurt your relationships with others in the workplace. Resist the desire to join your boss in his trash-talking. Word gets around in an office, so don't say anything behind your colleagues' backs that you wouldn't say to them directly. If you feel compelled to comment in response to your badmouthing boss, be positive. "Focus on the strengths of your colleagues," Dattner said. Duck and cover It is best to avoid situations in which your boss can drag you into disparaging conversations. Try being with him only when others are present. Don't go out for lunch just the two of you; invite others to meetings (For instance, you might say, "Let's ask Tara to join so she can fill us in on that project as well."). If you see your boss by the coffee pot, do a 180-degree turn and head toward the supply closet instead. Of course, there are some cases in which superiors do not realize how their behaviour is affecting the team. If you are lucky enough to have a manager who seems open to suggestion, try redirecting the conversation to a discussion of practical solutions. "When your boss trashes your colleagues, you may want to try to get him to focus on how to support or coach them to perform better in the future, rather than focusing on their difficulties in the past," said Dattner. "Get him to consider how he might constructively intervene to help set them up for success rather than failure." You could, for instance, remind him of the achievements of particular colleagues. And it doesn't hurt to sandwich in some positives to keep the boss from becoming defensive. Try praising him for decisions he's made that have helped struggling co-workers succeed. If these approaches don't work over the long term, ask for a transfer and keep finding good reasons to avoid one-on-one encounters.  |
| When office gossip is about you Posted: 07 Oct 2013 10:53 AM PDT  When you overhear colleagues disparaging your project (Pixland) Q: At my company, we have an open floor plan with few private offices. That means that nothing one says at work is really private. What should I do if I hear someone, who obviously doesn't know I am nearby, talking about me — especially when they are disparaging a project I am leading? First, remember that it can be easy to misunderstand what you hear, so make sure that the person is talking about you before you go further. Consider whether there is another colleague with your name, or a related project that your colleague might have been badmouthing. If you're certain you were the target of the comments, then it's time to take action. Ignoring what you heard will just cause you to resent your co-worker and get in the way of treating him as a professional. If you do nothing, every time you work with that person you will remember their disparaging comments, said Professor Laura Pincus Hartman, who teaches business ethics at DePaul University in Chicago. She advocates transparency in the office — including confronting someone who made comments about your work when they didn't know you could overhear. The best policy, Hartman said, is to address the issue directly with the colleague. "Walk in and say, 'I heard what you said and it made me really uncomfortable and I just want to put that on the table'," she said. This should not be a request for an apology; you are not criticising your gossiping colleague, nor are you saying that your feelings were hurt. (It's work, not high school.) The goal is to get out into the open any issues with your performance, your leadership, or the project itself, Hartman said. A strong leader seeks out naysayers and this approach can show how ego-free you are if you are calm and measured: "You will gain strength from this, not appear weaker," she said. Once you've had a frank discussion, try to deal with the feedback just as if you had received it in an open meeting. Ideally your team will learn that you are forthright about dealing with problems, no matter how you learn about them. As an added benefit, your colleagues are not likely to repeat their mistake. If you don't feel comfortable speaking up, you will have to pretend you did not hear the conversation. This may impact your ability to be friendly with this colleague, but try at least to be cordial. Similarly, if what you heard was not a legitimate concern with your work, but was instead a snarky comment about you personally, you should treat it just like any other evidence that a co-worker is not a nice person. Company culpability? Also worth considering: is it ethical for your company to force you into this awkward situation by virtue of how your office is set up. Open cubicles encourage collaboration, but they take away employees' personal space. "The organisation has placed you in this particular physical environment, so the organisation bears some responsibility," Hartman said. If the company wants to discourage eavesdropping on others' conversations, management could set aside a few rooms for cube-dwelling employees' use during the work day. The ability to step behind a closed door for a small meeting, lunch with colleagues, or a discreet call to a doctor's office will help ensure workers have a place to take conversations that others shouldn't hear. There are also lessons to be learned from other cultures. Open-plan offices are the norm in some regions — in Japan, for instance. It's typical there for employees to duck outside if they need to make personal calls or discuss something sensitive. The advent of texting has also made it easier for them to carry on discussions in silence.  |
| Husband Catches His Wife In The Act With Her "Best Friend" Posted: 07 Oct 2013 10:48 AM PDT  They met for the first time in the school library. The meeting was an accidental one because May bumped into Moses as she rushed out to meet up with a lecture. As he bent to gather his books and scripts that lay scattered all over the library floor, Moses mumbled under his breath, "If I did this to you, I would never hear the end of it." "I am truly sorry," May apologised as she bent down to help him. "I have a 12 0'clock class with Professor Ben." At the mention of Professor Ben, Moses understood the purpose of the rush. According to Anna Okon... Professor Ben was the dreaded statistics lecturer at the Metropolitan Polytechnic. Students called him, 'the one minute professor' because he only allowed one minute grace after entering the class for any late coming or distraction. "You have just 10 minutes before Professor one-minute enters his class. Leave these papers and run along. I don't want to be responsible for your failure," Moses told May. His last statement was annoying and she would have given him a piece of her mind but she rushed past him, telling herself that she would remind him later, that nobody can make May fail in anything. The two did not meet again until during convocation. Coincidentally, they were both top flight students and both received prizes for excelling in their various fields. While May emerged the best student in her department, Moses sailed to the top as the best overall student in the school. On their way back from the podium with their certificates and laurels, May heard somebody whisper, "I see you made it to the statistics class after all; thanks to me." She turned and realised it was Moses. She sneered back, "Listen, you arrogant man. Just because you attempted to act like a gentleman and prevented me from picking up your books does not make you anything other than what you are…." she began but he did not allow her to finish. "What am I?" he asked, goading her, clearly enjoying her agitation and the look on her face. "You are arrogant and you don't know anything," she finished. Moses replied: "I would have believed your judgement, but unfortunately, that is not what my certificate says. You know, you look cute when you are angry. I would love to see you angry more often." They met again a few years later. May worked as a front desk officer in a commercial bank and Moses was a management trainee at an oil company. He had gone to May's bank for a transaction and met her. "Hi May, you are here!" Moses exclaimed on seeing her. "Moses," she called his name and he did not miss the excitement in her voice. "You sound as if you are happy to see me,'' he observed. "Well, that is because I have been wondering where my arrogant school mate disappeared to. Maybe I missed your cockiness," May told him. "I am sorry, May. Look, allow me to make up for all the annoying things I did to you. How about lunch? Please," he pleaded and she agreed. Their relationship progressed after that meeting into a steady love affair and after two years of courtship, they got married. Moses could never have suspected his beautiful wife had a secret until five years into their blissful union. It started with a visit from May's long time friend and roommate in school, Precious. She had travelled to the United States of America after graduation to be with her parents, who were based there. The two constantly kept in touch on phone and through social media. Moses had no problem with his wife spending a lot of time chatting and making a long distance call. May had a lot of fond things to say about Precious. "I can't wait to see your friend that you always talk about," Moses always told her. Precious finally arrived. When they went to pick her from the airport, Moses noticed how May dotted on Precious. From then on, the lady took up all the space in his wife's life. Although she was lodged in a hotel on the Island, Precious was always around. Moses left May alone. He understood that she needed to catch up on the friendship. When it was time for him to travel on an official mission to Europe, he was happy to leave May behind because he knew she would have Precious to keep her company. His flight was for 10pm, so he spent the whole afternoon with his wife and then, Precious came in shortly before 7pm to escort her friend and the husband to the airport. Moses' flight got cancelled 20 minutes to take-off time because of a security warning at the airport. The flight was rescheduled for the following day. It was all good, he thought as he took a cab back to his house to spend another night with his wife. The entrance door was locked when he got there. Not willing to disturb her sleep, he used his key. On entering the house, moans stopped him in his tracks. They were coming from his bedroom. May, his wife with another man? He didn't believe it but yanked the door open. May and Precious sprang up from the bed. They were naked!  |
| Photo: Jonathan Inaugurates National Conference Committee Posted: 07 Oct 2013 10:45 AM PDT  "In the task before you, no voice is too small and no opinion is irrelevant. Thus, the views of the sceptics and those of the enthusiasts must be accommodated as you formulate this all important framework. This Conversation is a People's Conversation and I urge you to formulate an all-inclusive process that protects the people's interest."  |
| Julius Agwu and wife welcome son Posted: 07 Oct 2013 10:44 AM PDT    |
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